You and your spouse have worked hard to provide for your family and raise your children. You’ve got it through high school and now the latter has left the house and gone to school, working somewhere or maybe getting married. Well it’s finally over and now it’s time for you and your partner to relax and start enjoying being the two of you. A chance at marital bliss once again? Well, not that fast. You might head for the big “D” (divorce) instead.
According to the New York Times, the divorce rate for couples aged 50 and over has doubled over the past half century. According to a 2011 Census Bureau American Community survey, 15.4% of couples over the age of 50 are divorced, 2.1% are separated, and 13.5% are widowed.
What are the factors that cause death in marriage? Based on my own observations as a practicing divorce attorney, there are a few things. First, so much energy is focused on their children that they do nothing to keep their relationship strong. They grow apart. Try to keep your marriage strong. Take a trip together without your kids, even when they are little. Trust me, they will survive. Second, many baby boomers are in their second or third marriage. IF they are healthy and active and the relationship becomes stale or burdensome, the individual is more likely to divorce again. Third, be careful with retirement. Being together all the time, when you haven’t been in the past, can be stressful. Find a few hobbies that you can each pursue on your own, as my mom used to say: “leave some space in your togetherness.” However, make sure you schedule time to be together as well and pursue shared interests.
Generally, there are greater implications when a person is older and divorced. These implications can add to the pressure on the child and family. The kids and other family members may (hopefully) like you both. They won’t know how to deal with you now that you’re not a partner. The stress on finances, and sharing assets such as investments, social security, retirement accounts, and tax implications, all have greater significance and consequences as an older couple. In general, you have gained more.
Hopefully, you will have a wonderful wedding now that the kids are gone. This is truly a time to reconnect and enjoy each other. There is no more pressure in raising children. More disposable income, right? You don’t pay for school, braces, dancing, and the list goes on and on. However, if your marriage is one of the statistics, you should seek out a competent legal representative to make sure you get what you deserve.
An experienced divorce attorney will work with you to understand your needs, review your rights and options, consider creative alternatives, and prepare a sound legal strategy for your divorce and family law case.