Most of us feel that children are the most important asset in our life. They represent our love, our future, and for many of us our highest achievements. We want to protect them at all costs, and their happiness, health and education are of utmost concern. So how can children help us in making divorce decisions that relate specifically to them?
Listen to Your Child
Almost any teacher or psychologist will tell you that one of the most important things you can do with your child is to listen to them. Children can tell us what they want and need, we just have to ask and then listen to their feedback. Even younger children can express their wishes. Of course, the age of the child is a determining factor in how much input a child can give in court. In California, most courts accept age 14 as the age when a child can speak in court (provided the court has determined that it is in the child’s best interest), to express their preferences regarding custody and visitation.
Create a Parenting Plan
Creating a parenting plan is a good way to make decisions regarding children. Parents work on the plan together and may want to include their children, when and where appropriate. The plan should include Legal Custody, Physical Custody and Parenting Time (time sharing or visits); It should determine whether legal and physical custody is joint (both parents share responsibility) or sole (one parent has all responsibility). Making your own is great if the two of you can agree on the issue, but if you can’t, an experienced mediator can help you resolve any disputes about custody, child care and support, in an atmosphere of love and commitment to the family.
Child allowance
Federal tax regulations are very clear when it comes to child support and taxes. For federal income tax purposes, child support is always tax-free. This means that neither the custodial parent who receives the child support payment, nor the child, owes no tax on the payment. As for the non-custodial parents who make the child support payments, they are not classified as tax deductible. One very important consideration for the custodial parent is to ensure that the monthly payment is specifically designated as “child benefits” in the final divorce agreement, also known as the separation of marriage agreement (MSA). Child support payments must be completely separated from husband support payments and not lumped together as “family support”. This is an important step to follow for one main reason: while child support is tax-deductible, spousal support is considered income and taxable. The final agreement between the parents should be very clear in identifying which payments are for child support and which are for spouse support, so that the custodial parents do not experience unnecessary tax burdens.